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Whitby set to be turned into loonyland

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Whitby will be turned into a massive fun fair, the Abbey will be turned into a nightclub and the fishing industry will be cleaned up because it stinks.

These are the plans for Whitby should the Monster Raving Loony Party come to power and take control of the town.

Lord Toby Jug was in Whitby this week to promote the party and recruit a local candidate for the borough elections in May and also next year’s general election.

He has been on a pub crawl talking to locals and met with visitors and residents to spread his loony message.

Lord Toby Jug told the Gazette: “They are all sensible policies and because there are a lot of goths we will introduce the dead vote. They should be allowed to vote and leave it in their will if they die between elections.

“They will vote for us because we are a dead loss.”

That said, when Lord Toby Jug, whose name has been changed by Deed Poll, stood in his local election in St Ives in 2009 he won 565 votes and beating the combined votes of two other candidates including Labour.

He added that he had met plenty of people in Whitby who were interested in standing

See Friday’s Gazette for the full story.

 
 
 

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